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Pagan angel. -edit... Again- by =SorrowBurn:iconSorrowBurn:



Across my corn-yellow sheets of warm cotton,
upon my nothing fancy kind of bed,
she grins and splays herself out.

Her wings unseen, beneath her gleaming body
and every little tuck & fold of her sleek skin.

She says it's more comfortable on my rickety bed,
that it's nicer than hers- and bigger too.

She likes it because it smells like me,
least, that's what she tells me.

Invitingly, she smiles to me and beckons with a long-fingered hand
a momentary hesitation, she pouts at me because she knows I'm teasing.

I slip across the expanse between us, between my pagan angel
and me.

It must be awkward for her to get tops that fit around her wings,
but then again, she says it's only me that can see them
because everyone else thinks angels are just christian
or that they don't exist.

My pagan angel, in blue jeans and a black t-shirt adorned with skulls,
fit for what you'd assume would be the patrons of Hell- Christian Hell.

No garments of pure white, or resplendant robes of celestial purity,
just jeans, a t-shirt and a big, warm smile.

She isn't all that pure either, she wants sex, she drinks,
but she's all the fabled grace and beauty and more-
even if she knows how to have fun.


We're nothing else but side by side, hand in hand, staring up at the ceiling.

"I can't believe we can just lay here, like this."

She says, rubbing a bare foot up the back of her jeans,
idly glancing over to me and squeezing my hand.
I pretend I'm sleeping, by quickly shutting my eyes and letting my head fall to one side, this serves only to rattle her.

Her,
her wings and all,
are then sat on my chest.

Then she unceremoniously pokes my nose.

"You're not sleeping, I know you're not."

I ignore her, a telltale grin creeping across my face.

She kicks back her legs and lays on me,
pressing her nose on to mine,
pressing a kiss to my lips before she snakes her hands down my sides,

she's tickling me!

I attempt to leap up and squirm away, we bump heads like a couple of cartoon characters, then fall off each other and start to laugh & rub our foreheads.

She looks over to me with a sudden smile;

"Where'd you put my socks?"

She says.
©2009 =SorrowBurn
:iconsorrowburn:

Author's Comments

Finally, I bloody finished something!

Edit: 24/4/2009
Any better? Opinions please!

Critiques


:iconendless-one:
I really loved this piece, what I liked above all was how you this mystical angel-like creature did mundane, everyday stuff and yet still appeared otherwordly.
(Personally, I think they're in two different worlds and there's this link between them that allows them to see each other, but that's just me.)
You managed to put her 'big warm smile' into the whole story, there's this positive glow all over the story, the kind of glow you get when you fall in love for the first time.
You also get a sense that this angel has a very human wicked sense of humor, she has a lot of human traits in fact but is not 'too' human, if you get what I mean...

anyway, hope this has been helpful, and as I said, it's a very very gorgeous piece of fiction you've written here. :thumbsup:
The Artist thought this was FAIR
7 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

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Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 1 1 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconroguequeen:
Absolutely beautiful.

--
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
--Oscar Wilde.
:iconfairykisses91:
Very cute ending.

--
Eye for an eye and the world goes blind.
********************************
[Some people are meant to be broken]
********************************
:iconsylvanashala:
You know, i really Love this. It's one of those pieces where you can see it all, you know? :kiss: :hug:

--
". . . into the depths i looked
only to be swallowed by the darkness. . ."



Art -- ~ThroughSapphyreEyes
:iconsierralenoir:
It's one of those kind of pieces that i find more touching and impressive than the commonly used(blatant) professions of feelings(in any poetry around DA). To be able to convey that, through the little things in life with vivid detail is a skill. You havent lost your touch.
:iconkdaanimefan:
an enjoyable piece, an ending that makes you smile, mysticism and realism interwoven together, good job ^^

--
Be true with yourself
Its up to us to spread our wings
Motivation is how you start, habit is how you continue
There is more to relationships then the ecstasy of the flesh and body
Commit to a promise
:iconsorcerersapprentice:
Gods, I love this one.
It's just so...warm.
:iconthygod:
I'll be over in this corner sobbing for how much this sounds like you're just talking.

--
HEY LISTEN, HEY LISTEN, HEY LISTEN, HEY LIS- okay fucker, you go on ahead and do that.

You just lost the game.
:iconspiker17:
It's been said already, but the warmth of the atmosphere is absoultely beautiful.

The smile of your angel is absolutely contagious and infectious. The intimacy offered is also more erotic and sexy than some romance novels could hope to be. Very well done, dear.


--
If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it. - Wuthering Heights, Emily Brontë
:icondaggereyes:
This is a lovely, warm poem that should bring a "big, warm smile" to the faces of those that read it. Very well done. It's nice to read something very sweet yet still positive and cheerful. :)

--
Feuer und Wasser kommt nie zusammen
Kann man nicht binden sind nicht verwandt

- Feuer und Wasser - Rammstein -

~lindik ~haus-of-rammstein ~Richards-Emigration

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April 13
2.6 KB

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